If you can't BEAT 'em, EXERCISE

You know the saying, 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em'...well I've just kinda put a little twist on that saying. Truth is, I have been wanting to join my friends who are jogging, but I've never felt I had the right 'runner's form' and my ortho doctor has actually advised me not to run. She did however say I could train to run 3 miles at the MOST....Okay, so there's the window I needed. Now back to the saying, "if you can't BEAT 'em, EXERCISE!!"

First of all, I need to go back in time. I meant to blog about this on Friday, but I haven't had the time to sit with time to myself and let my thoughts out. I was packing to come to my parents' house for the weekend. It was my mom's birthday on Saturday, and of course Father's Day was Sunday, so I thought I'd kill 2 birds with 1 stone and spend time with both of them this weekend. Raleigh had been working since Thursday and would be until Sunday, then he was to meet me at my mom and dad's to join us for Father's day. Anyway, have you ever tried to pack for a short weekend trip for 4 kids, 2 dogs, and yourself. All the while, my two girls are loading up on what they want to bring in the car and to play with at Nay-Nay's. The car is packed down like we will be there all summer and the kids are loaded up for the trip, and my chest is so tight I can hardly breathe. Then the slight bickering starts and I'm ready to pull the car over and BEAT all of them on the side of the road. Instead, I slam on the brakes a couple of times to scare them all and I turn the radio OFF and we ride in silence while I try to calm down. I know my children must think I am a loony bird. After a few miles, I turn the radio back on and the rest of the trip was uneventful (it takes about an hour and 15 minutes to get there).

I was still quite frustrated when we arrived and I asked my mom if she would serve lunch to the masses while I went for a jog down to the Publix store and back (about a 2 mile trip-there and back). This was the first time I had jogged since I got my ankle surgery and it was 1:00 in the afternoon. But I had to exercise. I needed that jolt of endorphins to elevate my serotonin level or I was going to blow up. And so, there I went, jogging, with my mom's i-pod on my ears. I LOVED IT!! It was just what I needed. I got back around my children and I was able to diffuse an argument my girls were having without even raising my voice.

You see, a few of you who know me already know that I have been on Zoloft since Mallory was about 3 or 4 months old. My OBGYN put me on it back in 2004 because I felt so frazzled and at my wits end all the time. I felt like I was falling apart and I just couldn't hold things together. I was in a new marriage of only 2 years, I had just had my 4th child, I was going to school full time still (I was even nursing Mallory while trying to take on-line tests and do on-line projects), and Raleigh was the only one working so he had to work a lot of overtime, therefore I was home with the kids by myself....very difficult time.

Fast forward to 2008...The weekend of Mother's Day, I decided I was going to quit taking my Zoloft. I had been exercising quite regularly, and I had already cut my dosage in half for over a month, in addition, the children are all older now, my marriage is much more solid, I have a job of my own and I just feel like I'm at a more stable and sturdy point in my life. So I quit taking my medication and I have stuck with exercising to lift my spirits and keep me healthy, both mentally and physically.

I know that was a LOOONNNNGGGG post, but that is the story behind, 'if you can't BEAT 'em, EXERCISE'...so now if you see me running, walking, or riding my bike, just honk and know that I am well within my soul!!! And my children are not getting spanked because I have found an outlet. I walked and jogged a total of 6 miles this weekend and feel amazing. I think being addicted to exercise won't be such a bad thing at all!!